Intimacy
by T a C o C a T
Summary: Intimacy - in all its forms - is a foreign concept to Uchiha Sasuke. Sometimes healing comes from within, sometimes it comes with a little help from a friend. Who else could he trust with himself but the person who had loved him all along? Time to break down some barriers. After all, restored clans don't spawn out of nowhere. SASUSAKU PRE-EPILOGUE/POST-WAR
1. Chapter 1

INTIMACY

 _Part One_

Much had changed in the years since the conclusion of the fourth great shinobi war: Kakashi's face had been carved into the mountainside, taking its place amongst those of the other Hokages; Naruto and Hinata had gotten married at long last; the village had been rebuilt and expanded, and Sakura had finally gotten her own apartment.

Perhaps the last didn't deserve to be weighted the same as the others, but frankly, it was the most interesting that had happened to the kunoichi since they had defeated Kaguya and dispelled the infinite Tsukuyomi. It was the most interesting thing that had happened to her since Sasuke and Naruto had battled in the Valley of the End and Sasuke had departed one his quest of self-reflection and redemption.

Some things hadn't changed: Naruto still loved Ramen, Kakashi still loved Jiraiya's series of smutty books, and Sakura still loved Sasuke. At least, she thought of him often and fondly; she wrote him letters to which he'd never once replied – so in that sense, Sasuke hadn't changed much either, she thought with a twinge of bittersweet sentiment.

But more unexpected changes were on the way.

* * *

When Sakura was not away on missions, she was working at the clinic. She was second only to Tsunade in expertise and ability, although Shizune still beat her in terms of raw experience. Since Tsunade had retired and they had lost many good medic nins in the war, the demand for qualified healers was great and Sakura spent many long days and nights tending to the sick and wounded. It was late into her shift when she spied an unexpected name next on her list of patients. She had not thought that Hinata had been sent on any recent missions. Initially concerned, she hurried to the patient bed only to discover her newly-wed friend sitting upright, ostensibly healthy and whole.

"Hinata!" Sakura exclaimed in surprise. "What's the matter?"

Hinata flushed, colouring pink, and touched her stomach in a way that instantly revealed what had brought her in to the clinic without her saying a word, but she replied anyway: "M-morning sickness, I think. I just wanted to confirm. I wanted to … to surprise Naruto-kun."

Sakura beamed, although internally she felt a tiny, unwanted pang of jealousy. How petty of her to feel anything less than ecstatic for her good friend's joyful news, but she couldn't help but feel that she was being … left behind by everyone around her as they paired off and started new lives together.

"Here, let me see." Sakura said, pushing those ugly feelings deep, deep down inside of herself. Focusing an amount of chakra in her hand, she asked Hinata to lift her shirt and passed her hand over her lower abdomen. Just _there_ , faint but distinct, "a chakra signature. I can sense it. Have you tried looking with your byakugyan?"

Hinata gave her head a nod, lowering her shirt and doing up the zipper on her jacket. So modest as always, although she had a bust to make any girl jealous. "I thought I saw another chakra signature, too. I just wanted to be sure."

"Congratulations!" Sakura said, letting out a happy squeal and clasping Hinata's hands in her own. She summoned the last of her energy (after working ten hours) to jump up and down a few times in excitement.

Sakura decided that she would get a cat, or maybe ask the Inuzuka's about taking one of their puppies off their hands. She could only live vicariously through her friends and their relationships for so long.

Hinata departed shortly afterwards and Sakura returned to work. _Ten hours down, two to go._ The tail end of her shift passed by relatively quickly as she shoved her own creeping depression out of her mind and focused on work, quickly and efficiently going from one patient to the next. Normally she prided herself on her cheerful and personable bedside manner, but that particular night as her exhaustion and mood gradually worsened she found herself scarcely looking at her patients as she spoke to them, let alone reading their names. Her eyes passed right over the personal section and focused on the medical information. Her last patient of the night was a male, aged twenty-one, shallow puncture wound to the chest. She stepped inside the room, staring at his chart as she ordered in a very business-like tone of voice: "shirt off."

The man complied without a fuss. Continuing to skim over his chart, she spoke: "it doesn't say here what caused the wound. Weapon or ninjutsu?"

"Kunai."

That deep, rich voice sent a thrill down her spine. She dropped her chart with a start, the clip-board clattering to the floor. Her heart leapt. "S-Sasuke-kun?"

There he was: naked from the waist up, sitting on the medical cot with one arm resting on a knee, his other arm cut off just before the elbow. His hair had grown longer since she'd seen him last. The rinnegan was still present in his left eye, the sharingan in his right left deactivated and black. His expression was so painfully familiar, that cool mix of indifference and irritation with which he always seemed to regard her.

"Sakura." he greeted casually. "Long time no see."

She had to resist the urge to fling herself at him and immediately begin sobbing into his chest. It had been a long time – too long. But that would not do, no matter how she secretly craved it; she was not a child any longer. She was a professional and right now, he was an injured patient in need of her help. Her heart could do flip-flops all it liked and a persistent lump could form in her throat, but she still wasn't going to make a scene. There had been plenty of those already.

"Lie down, please." she said, bending down to pick up the clip board and cautiously avoiding his gaze. The more she looked directly at him, the more she felt like she would melt into a puddle of happy goo. He'd always had that peculiar effect on her. If she had thought time and distance would erase it, she had been mistaken.

She was suddenly painfully conscious of how she looked: dark, purplish bags underneath her tired eyes, her unflattering clothes rumpled, frizzy strands of pink hair escaping her ponytail. He, of course, was as handsome as always. In fact, she thought that the years away had only further enhanced his good looks. He appeared a bit taller and his shoulders broader, his jawline hardened and last traces of boyish roundness gone from his face. His bare chest was solid and sculpted with muscle, dotted with scars here and there from bygone battles.

After staring at her with his intensely heated gaze for a long moment in silence, Sasuke obeyed, stretching out horizontally on the cot. She came to stand at his bedside, carefully inspecting the wound before wordlessly beginning to heal him, pouring chakra into her hands and placing it over his injury. He let out a long, quiet sigh and shut his eyes as the flesh and skin began to stitch itself seamlessly back together.

Finally, the right words came to her:

"Welcome back, Sasuke-kun."

"Hn." he replied, without opening his eyes. "Thanks."

* * *

This is intended to be a series of short chapters exploring the relationship between Sasuke and Sakura that develops after the end of the war and before the final prologue chapter of the manga. Warning: mature content up ahead.


	2. Chapter 2

Sasuke did not intend to stay in the village for long. It didn't quite feel like home to him any longer—it hadn't for years. The Uchiha Complex was a ghost town, empty and full of memories of heartbreak and slaughter. It had a chilly atmosphere about it even in the dead of summer. The rest of the town didn't seem much more welcoming; it was too soon for him to return to Konoha. Even though he had been given a pardon for his crimes for his crucial war in winning the war, people on the street still glanced at him sideways with distrust in their eyes. Perhaps, in time, that would change. Until then, he would protect the village in his own way: at a distance.

The time away had been necessary for him—it had given him a chance to think, to cool his head, and to put things into perspective. There were many nights where he'd lay awake under a blanket of stars, questioning all that had happened and all he had learned about himself, the Uchiha Clan, and the Shinobi. The hatred did not go away all at once; nor did he think it would ever go away completely. Sometimes the anger returned, and he would sit in the darkness and silence, running his fingertips over the stump where his forearm had once been so to remind himself: this was the price he had paid for his anger and vengeance. This is what he had lost in learning that painful lesson.

Though his travels had been of great benefit to him, Sasuke had experienced something that he had not felt since the days of his childhood: he was ... lonely. Even as a missing-nin he'd had the company of Suigetsu, Karin, and Jugo. Make no mistake: he had not felt closely tied to them by any means, but he had grown used to the banter following him—at one point he had found it only irritating, but now he missed the noise and camaraderie of a _team_.

When he saw Sakura again for the first time in years, he was struck by a foreign feeling: something warm and fluttery—perhaps affection. Annoying Sakura, who had loved him without sense or reason—she had become more womanly. She looked tired, flyaway bits of rose-coloured hair sticking to her forehead and cheeks, but despite the film of exhaustion over her eyes her gaze was deeply, intently focused. As she healed him, he observed her closely. She seemed not to be aware of his eyes tracing down the curves of her body, subtly hidden in the standard, shapeless medic-nin getup.

Lust felt strange and alien to him. As a youth he'd had no time for ogling the giggling gaggles of girls that had trailed after him everywhere with innocent romance on the mind. He'd been disinterested in sneaking peeks in dirty magazines or raunchy books. He'd been single-minded and strictly disciplined—any lust he'd felt was for revenge only. But he was a man, and more aware of it now than he'd once been. And he looked. And she was pleasing to look at, he noticed in a moment of dull revelation. There was a very nice sort of ... aestheticism about her appearance. She looked like spring. She embodied her namesake: Haruno Sakura, _Cherry Blossom in a Spring Field._

He wondered if she still loved him. An arrogant part of him expected that she did—that it was only natural that she should. He glanced at her left hand—no ring, but that did not mean that he could not theoretically be _seeing_ someone.

She made quick work of his wound. She was skilled, that was for sure. "You can put your shirt back on, Sasuke-kun."

" _You can take yours off."_ The errant thought ran through his head, but he kept it firmly in check. What was he, twelve? He slipped his shirt back on deftly, having long since grown accustomed to dressing himself with only one hand.

A beat of awkward silence passed. Sakura was the first to speak again.

"Your arm ... I think it might still be possible to have an artificial one fitted, like Naruto's. I always wondered why you left before it could be finished."

He gave a half-shrug in reply. He had his reasons, but they were difficult to convey. Expressing himself was not one of Uchiha Sasuke's strong points. Sakura opened her mouth as if to press the issue, and then closed it. She made a few scribbles on her clipboard.

"Then, if you're alright now, I'm finished my shift. You're my last patient of the evening." she informed him, and he nodded his head once in understanding. "Do you have someplace to go for tonight?"

He pondered the question. He had not thought about it before—but he did not. He could always return to the Uchiha complex, he supposed, but to be completely honest he would rather sleep on a park bench than in that eerily empty place. "Not really." he answered.

"If you like you could come home with me."

Pause. He blinked. Her face turned a shade to match her hair.

"Not—I mean—I have a new apartment. I moved out of my parent's place, finally, I ... I have a spare futon I can put out in the living room. I mean, I guess it would make more sense that you'd stay with Naruto or Kakashi-sensei..."

Would it? Wasn't Naruto married now? In any case he didn't think he knew where either of them lived. "If you don't mind my intruding." Sasuke said.

She stared at him a moment, and then nodded her head. Would it make her nervous, he wondered, having him in her house? It wasn't like he intended to do anything untoward. ( _Or did he?_ ) All he needed was a warm place to sleep for the night—and the 'warm' part was negotiable. He thought to mention that he would be perfectly happy finding somewhere to sleep outside, even camp outside the village if necessary, but for some reason he didn't. In the morning he would have to meet with Kakashi about the status of his longterm mission. It would be an inconvenience to go all the way out of the village just to return again in a few hours. That was the only reason, yes—or at least that's what he told himself.

"Alright," Sakura told him, "just let me get changed."


	3. Chapter 3

She couldn't believe she had asked him.

Harder yet to believe was that he had accepted. Rejection seemed to be his automatic response to every suggestion or request of hers that Sakura could count on one hand the number of times he'd said "yes." Some rejections had hurt harder than others: when he'd abandoned Konoha that night all those years ago, then just a boy, and she just a girl. Never had the words "thank you" left such a hole in her heart. Or after the war when he had left on his journey of self-searching and redemption; she had asked him to take her with him only to be denied with a two-fingered poke to the forehead. (Although that, admittedly, had set her heart aflutter for weeks afterwards and served as some small consolation for being left behind, yet again.) It seemed that wherever he went she was forbidden to follow.

Sometimes she wondered if he felt anything for her at all. Even if he hated her it would be better than indifference; anything was better than indifference.

The streets were dark and empty when they left the hospital together. She'd dressed in a hurry, leaving her uniform and vest in her cubby, changing into a plain set of civilian clothes and meeting him underneath the eaves of the Konoha hospital. He'd stood there in the shadows, his black cloak neatly blending in to the darkness—had he grown taller in the years since she'd seen him last? His hair had grown longer, she noticed, so that it no longer stood up at odd ends at the back. With the exception of the rinnegan now half-hidden behind his hair, his face was very much the same as it had always been: devilishly handsome, although she thought there was something softer about his expression, perhaps in the set of his eyes when he looked at her, and in the moment when she exited the building and he half-turned towards her and their gazes met, it took her breath away.

 _Nothing is going to happen._ She was certain of this. No matter how she might have imagined that the mere fact he had chosen to accept her invitation rather than sleep in the streets meant that he'd been harbouring a secret longing for her all these years, it was only wishful thinking. Sasuke was Sasuke. Even as children, before he'd descended into a downwards spiral of hatred and destruction, he'd tolerated her at best and found her _'annoying'_ at worst. There was no reason to believe that now would be any different, even if he had changed. Even if there was something about his very posture and gait that suggested he no longer carried the weight of the world on his shoulders. If he was going to open his heart up to someone, chances were it wouldn't be her.

" _Do you really still love him?"_ Ino asked her once during his absence. _"Even after everything? Isn't it hard to love someone who's never here?"_

Ino's attention had shifted onto Sai, who seemed pleasantly surprised if also a bit clueless. One by one the girls who had been girlishly infatuated with the brooding young Uchiha fell out of love with him as they found more _attainable_ men. Sometimes Sakura wondered if she should do the same. It was no sense waiting for someone who was never going to love her back, and it was hard to be alone, watching everyone around you pairing off like being single was going out of style.

And then there was Sasuke, the perpetual lone wolf. She wondered if he ever felt lonely.

Her apartment was not far from the hospital. It was within easy walking distance. She led the way through the darkened streets, shooting surreptitious sideways glances at Sasuke. He caught her looking and she hastily dropped her eyes and cleared her throat.

"It's a nice night, isn't it?" she offered conversationally. And it was: warm and clear, the stars twinkling brightly overheard, the streets still and quiet. The village felt safer than she had ever recalled. Since the conclusion of the war, the five great nations were enjoying a rare period of peace and cooperation. Kakashi was a capable Hokage and all knew that soon Naruto was to become his successor. Only Sasuke was Naruto's equal; with both of them here, the Konoha was untouchable.

"Hn." Sasuke grunted. She interpreted this as agreement. The remainder of the walk was silent. She didn't mind the silence, however. She simply enjoyed soaking up his presence. Their footfalls were in sync; he was consciously shortening his stride for her.

When they reached the apartment she pulled the key from her pocket and unlocked the door, letting him inside. It was a small, one-bedroom affair with a little kitchen and a small bath—but it was hers and it was cozy. Sasuke took off his shoes and set them aside neatly, and then stood awkwardly in the entryway as if uncertain of his reception.

"Make yourself at home." she invited. In the small, enclosed space of her apartment, she was suddenly much more aware of him. He was close enough that she could smell the faint scent of sandalwood and steel that clung to him.

 _Nothing is going to happen._

Once behind closed doors he would not jump at her like some sort of rutting beast. This was _Sasuke._ She didn't know that he had ever taken the remotest physical interest in her or any female, for that matter. She didn't know which was harder to imagine: that he had been with women or that he hadn't. There was too much of an aura of virility and raw sexuality about him to believe that he could a virgin, and yet he was _Sasuke._ Such animal urges were beneath him.

Or were they. She bet he'd had scores and scores of women. He was a man now, and he'd been away for a long time. Any woman he so much as glanced at would surrender to him happily and it was only natural that he should take his pleasure where and with whom he saw fit.

 _Nothing is going to happen._ Not even if she wanted it to.

"I'll put out your futon."

* * *

Reviews are loved! Thanks for those who have commented so far.


	4. Chapter 4

If he reached out his hand right now to touch her, how would she respond?

As Sasuke followed her inside of the apartment, her back seemed so far away; smaller, slimmer somehow than he remembered her being, or perhaps that was simply because he had grown taller and broader in his time away. She looked so deceptively frail, although he knew better than most people that Sakura was far from it—she packed a powerful punch and was more than a capable healer. He would never forget that if not for her, he would have bled to death in the Valley of end alongside Naruto.

On his journey, he came to realize that she had saved his life in so many ways more than that.

She pulled the futon out of the closet, pushing the kotatsu table aside so that she could lay it out on the tatami mat. It was a small apartment, and felt even smaller with the keen awareness that it was just the two of them inside of the enclosed space. He noticed that she didn't seem to be looking at him. Her movements were quick and deliberate, but nothing slipped past his sharp gaze—her shoulders were tense, her cheeks flushed, her posture guarded and insecure. When she finally turned to speak to him again she was fiddling with the fine, pink strands of her hair (which he noticed had gotten slightly longer since he'd seen her last.)

"It's not much... I wish I had a spare bed to offer you, but hopefully it'll do for—"

"Do I make you uneasy?" he interrupted her.

She blinked. There was a pause. "No." she replied. "No, not at all."

He frowned. He could tell that she was lying but did not feel the need to pry into her reasons for doing so. It was understandable for her to be uneasy around him. They hadn't seen each other in years, and before that (the brief period of his apology to her up until his departure notwithstanding) he had not been kind. He could not expect her to trust him so completely so soon, even if she proclaimed to love him ... though whether or not she _still_ did was unknown. Many things could have changed in his absence. She had grown older, and it would be foolish of him to think that she would wait around forever.

And then there was the fact that they were a man and woman, alone, in an apartment late at night. They had camped together before on missions when they were still children, but always chaperoned by Kakashi and Naruto _and they'd been children._ Twelve-year-old Sasuke hadn't been thinking about seducing twelve-year-old Sakura. He hadn't imagined pulling her into his chest and pressing his lips to her sweet mouth, pushing her back against the wall and hoisting her up and—

 _Ahem._ He gave his head a little shake. "I'll try not to impose too long." he told her, glancing around the room. It was sparsely, femininely decorated. On the wall, he spied an old photo of team seven from when they were young. He glanced at the much younger version of himself and wished that he could go back in time and tell that sad, angry, lonely boy all that he knew now. If he could have stopped himself from ever leaving, he wondered how things would be different now. There was little doubt he wouldn't have become so strong, but was his strength worth all that he had traded for it? Was it worth the years he'd wasted chasing after revenge?

Maybe he could have had a family.

"Good night then, Sakura." he said with a quiet sigh. She looked at him, and opened her mouth as if she intended to speak before closing it again. She cast her green eyes downward. He wondered if somehow he'd managed to say the wrong thing.

"Good night, Sasuke." she answered at last, offering a small smile that didn't quite reach her eyes before she retreated into her own bedroom. The door clicked shut quietly behind her. He laid down on the futon and stared up at the unfamiliar ceiling; it was the first time in many nights that he had not slept looking up unimpeded at the stars. Her house was warm and smelled like lavender and sage.

He noted belatedly that she had dropped the _'-kun.'_

* * *

Naruto was dead. His blond-haired best friend, his rival and equal, lay on his back; his eyes were shut, a trickle of blood running from his lips, a hole torn in his chest from where he'd been struck by Sasuke's chidori—right through the heart. Kakashi was dead too. He was face-down on the ground, immobile, his body bent at all unnatural angles. In the background, Konoha burned with the black flames of _Amaterasu,_ and Hokage mountain had been shattered and broken into a pile of rubble. Bodies littered the streets, their flesh providing food for the hungry flames. The moon was bright and full overhead, tinted red with blood just like it had been that night so many years ago during the Uchiha massacre. There was no one left to stand in his way, no bonds remaining to sever—save only one.

Green eyes stared up at him, glimmering wetly with tears. Sakura was on her knees, unarmed with her hands hanging limply at her sides. She made no motion to defend herself, only looked up at him with those green, _green_ eyes—verdant and lush and innocent—and mouthed, _"please."_

He drove the Sword of Kusanagi right through her. She gasped at the moment of impact and tears spilled from her eyes. He watched the light go out of them, that spring-life green go flat and dull. He saw her die. She crumpled at his feet, made a few weak, rasping noises, and then went eerily still.

Standing just behind her was the spirit of Ōtsutsuki Indra. He neither smiled nor frowned, just stared on impassively as the black flames spread. Sasuke blinked and the vision was gone—in its place stood Uchiha Madara.

"No." Sasuke whispered, staring down at his hands which were crimson with her blood. "No, I didn't want this. This isn't me. This is what you turned me into."

"Foolish child." Madara said, laughing darkly. "This is what you are and what you always will be. It is in your _soul._ You cannot escape."

"No." Sasuke shook his head vehemently. "No!"

" _Hatred becomes you._ "

...

"Sasuke-kun! _Sasuke!_ "

He jolted awake, screaming, and sat upright. A pair of warm, study arms caught him and held him tightly. He gasped like a fish out of water as he was torn from his nightmare, but the terrible images lingered: he watched her die by his hand over and over again in his mind. His stomach lurched and bile rose to his throat, but he quickly swallowed it back, shuddering violently. His entire body shook with uncontrollable tremors. He breathed in and out quickly and raggedly. In response she seemed to clutch him tighter, until she was the only thing keeping him from crumbling apart.

"Sasuke, shh. Sasuke-kun, it's alright. It was just a bad dream. Just a nightmare." a gentle voice promised him, soothing. Her fingers found his hair, petting gently, cradling his head against her chest, and he melted into her. _Alive._ She was alive—they all were. It had only been a nightmare, one of many like it, but the terror and guilt never lessened in their intensity. He stayed there with his head against her breast, listening to her heartbeat until the trembling and hyperventilating stopped, the horror receding slowly from his mind as he came back to reality. It was nearly dawn, the first rosy rays of daylight filtering through the windows of her apartment. The door to her bedroom was open and the light was on; she must have heard him in the night and woken him up.

He sat up a little straighter and became abruptly aware of the precariousness of the position they were in. She was straddling his lap and he was staring directly down the neckline of her nightdress—or what could barely be called that; it was just a small, lacy, practically-see through confection in _red_ that left little to his imagination. He could perfectly see the outline of her breasts, the hourglass trim of her waist and the flare of her hips, the hem of the nightdress ending just beneath her rear to expose miles of shapely leg. As the panic attack faded and his mind calmed, he grew rapidly uncomfortable. His pulse quickened, his blood giving a sharp, downwards _heave._

Her fingers slid through his hair. He shifted, not wanting her to notice his burgeoning arousal.

"Are you alright?" she asked him. "Have you calmed down?"

He felt embarrassed and weak, like a child. He wished she hadn't seen him like this.

"Yes." he grunted at her, and quickly displaced her from his lap. The last thing he needed was for her to know that he was both horny as a schoolboy as well as mentally weak. "Get off me."

This time he knew with a certainty that he had said the wrong thing. The effect was immediate: hurt flashed across her features and she withdrew, gathering herself up and getting hastily to her feet. Her hands clenched into fists at her side and for a moment, he wondered if she meant to hit him. If so, he could hardly blame her. He would deserve it; it seemed no matter what he did he ended up hurting her. He drew up one leg to conceal his erection and directed his gaze at the carpet to prevent himself from gaping at her in her present state of undress.

"I was just trying to _help you,_ Sasuke. So maybe I don't know how to comfort you. I never have." she bristled, and sniffed, and he hoped to god she wouldn't cry. "But when you're hurting I can't stand to watch and do nothing. If you don't like it, then say so. But you don't have to be such an asshole about it. I don't deserve that—I don't."

His face flushed with guilt, a heavy line appearing in between his dark brows. When she turned to storm back into her bedroom, he stood up to follow her, catching her just and whirling her around just before she passed through the doorframe. "Sakura. That's not it." he said with a sigh of frustration, and grabbed her hand and pressed it firmly against his damn near _painful_ erection. She froze, her face a blank mask. "Look at what you're wearing. Think about what you're doing. Are you usually so careless around men? I _am_ a man, in case you have forgotten. And you are a woman. You invited me into your home, alone, without a second thought, and then you come out at night and climb on top of me wearing _this._ " He gestured at her flimsy slip. "What do you expect to happen? You need to be more self-aware. Put some clothes on before I put you on your back."

And with that, having felt like he'd spoken more words consecutively than he had in years, he gave her a gentle shove back inside her bedroom and shut the door where she was out of sight and he could no longer think about how much better that lacy red nightie of hers would look on the floor. He ran a hand through his hair in exasperation.

 _If he reached out his hand right now to touch her, how would she respond?_

He was not sure which response he would fear more: that she would reject him or that she would _not._ He could never have her, no matter how he might have wished it. No matter if she misguidedly wished it too—there were certain things for which he could never atone, of which he would never come completely clean.

 _He had tried to kill her._

And even if she could forgive him for that, he could not forgive himself.

* * *

Again, thanks to all those who reviewed! I do love reviews. They prove to be such an inspiration to me. :) This chapter is a little bit longer and there's a bit more substance to it, hopefully. The first 3 were rather slow going.


	5. Chapter 5

_'Put some clothes on before I put you on your back.'_

 _' **Put some clothes on before I put you on your back.'**_

She was astonished—frozen in complete and utter disbelief. Sakura did not move, blink, nor so much as _breathe_ when Sasuke grabbed her hand and guided it to his rock-hard erection. When he released her to push her gently inside her own bedroom and close the door, she stumbled dumbly inside and slumped with her back to the shut door, unresponsive for what seemed like an eternity. Her mind unstuck slowly, emerging from a thick fog, and struggled to process the significance of the amazing thing that had just happened. She lifted her hand up, fingers splayed, and stared at the appendage just inches in front of her face; the hand which, just moments ago, had been pressed firmly against the undeniable evidence of Uchiha Sasuke's arousal. Colour flooded into her face and she flushed from her neck up to the tips of her ears, such a brilliant shade that it easily put her hair to shame.

Without looking away from her hand, silently, she mouthed: " _OH. MY. GOD_."

By 'put you on your back,' she did not suppose he wanted to wrestle or spar to practise some new taijutsu moves.

After the initial shock of his actions and words had worn off, a strange giddiness stole over her that was almost manic in its intensity. That hand (which she felt as though had just been introduced to something new and magical) clenched into a fist, and she pumped it high into the air triumphantly. Never once had Sasuke shown the slightest indication that he was physically attracted to her—or any female for that matter. She'd begun to wonder if he was asexual, or at least so inclined towards her. Something at last! Not all hope was lost! She span around in a little circle right there and did a sad, flailing imitation of a victory dance before the voice of Common Sense piped up, commanding her firmly: " _you're a grown woman. Stop that!_ "

But Common Sense was now competing with another voice: one that had been nearly long-forgotten, which floated lazily out of some neglected corner of her subconscious; in that moment Inner Sakura was reborn, only a much sultrier, _lustier_ version, and that saucy little minx purred: ' _apparently_ _someone_ _else_ _has noticed that we're a grown woman, too.'_

Sakura shook her head to clear her thoughts, pressing her other hand against her rapidly fluttering hear to still its wild beating. No, she shouldn't get herself worked up. It was not as though she had intended to go out there and seduce the poor man—it had been the furthest thing form her mind, despite what her (admittedly immodest) clothing might have suggested to the contrary. Frankly, she had only worn it because her less sensual sleepwear was bundled in her dirty laundry hamper. It had been an impulse purchase when she had been shopping with Ino, not wanting to be outdone by her longtime friend-slash-rival who, at the time, had been buying an expensive lingerie set to show off to a very fortunate and unsuspecting Sai. _"What's the purpose of buying THAT if no one is ever going to see it?"_ Ino had teased her, to which Sakura had replied (in a way that was meant to be mysterious but might have sounded closer to sulking): _"you don't know that."_

She had bought it mostly for herself, the red, lacy silk nightie which was terrible comfortable and worked wonders for her cleavage. No matter if no one else saw it but her while looking at her reflection in the mirror; it made her feel confident and sexy and womanly and... well, honestly, it spent most of its time pushed to the far back of her underwear drawer—but she wasn't going to sleep in the pajamas she'd spilled juice on while eating in bed, or without any clothes on at all with Sasuke sleeping in the next room.

She'd woken to the sound of him tossing and moaning in his sleep, afflicted with some terrible nightmare. Unthinkingly, she had darted out of bed to soothe him awake, and hadn't remembered what she'd been wearing until he had pointed it out to her just now. Even so, she never would have imagined ... never would have imagined that he would ...

She swallowed, her throat tight, feeling uncomfortably hot. The pristine silk of her nightie suddenly seemed to chafe against her skin.

 _'We could offer to help him out with that.' _Inner Sakura chuckled mischievously.

Sakura nibbled on her bottom lip and glanced at the closed door that separated them. No, no. She was a medic-nin and she understood full well that not all erections were timely or appropriate. For all she knew it might have just been routine case of morning wood and he was merely scolding her for her careless appearance. In the end, he had pushed her away—she could not forget that. Surely he must have known that if he ... desired her, all he needed to do was reach out and she would never refuse? Surely he must have known that.

 _'Maybe go give him a reminder just in case. Just march right out there and say it: ' Take me, I'm yours!''_

The last thing she wanted to do was make things more awkward between them by coming on too strong. How would it have looked if she flung herself at him within mere hours of his return? She wasn't ... well, she didn't want to seem _easy._ She loved him, yes, and always had, and always would, but she couldn't just—

 _'Take his pants off!'_

"What is wrong with me?" she muttered to herself, banishing Inner Sakura and her unexpected lecherousness with a wave of her hand. She grabbed her dressing robe and put it on over her nightie, tying the sash tightly at her waist, and sat down on her bed. If he had desired her _like that,_ he would have made it known. Sasuke wasn't the type to pussyfoot about such things. As long as she'd known him, he'd always taken exactly what he'd wanted. She was only his teammate, perhaps his friend, and nothing more. She knew it well and it would only end in heartache if she kept making mountains out of every little molehill. It was an exhausting exercise in futility.

Sighing to herself, she went back to her bedroom door and pressed her forehead against the cool wood.

A barrier had existed between them for so long. It wouldn't be coming down anytime soon.


	6. Chapter 6

She didn't come out of the bedroom for a long time. He heard nothing except for a brief shuffling, the creak of her mattress, and then silence, and wondered if she had gone back to sleep. It was still early in the morning and if Sasuke had thought he could go back to sleep after what had just happened, he might have done so too. In hindsight there might have been a less embarrassing, awkward way of demonstrating to her that he hadn't been pushing her away just to be needlessly cruel. There were few people whom he felt comfortable letting touch him—Sakura was one of those few, and perhaps the only one he would ever allow so close. He couldn't quite say why, but it had been that way since they were children. It had been so easy to sink into her, to absorb the warmth and comfort she offered to him. _"So maybe I don't know how to comfort you. I never have."_ she said, but in truth it was the exact opposite: she'd always known exactly what he'd needed. No one had ever been more observant of him, been able to read his thoughts and emotions so well although he strove at all times to keep them well-hidden. To be frank, it alarmed him.

He sighed, and wondered if it would be best for him to leave now, before she reemerged from her room and they would both be forced to deal with the awkward atmosphere that he had thoughtlessly created between them. He waited for his "little problem" to go away on its own accord before he gathered up the few belongings which he had with him, folded the futon and blanket neatly, setting them in the corner of the room, and turned to leave the apartment.

Only he paused, glancing over his shoulder at her closed bedroom door. She would be upset with him for leaving without saying a word, he knew, but it would be easier for the both of them in the long run, this way. It was not that he wasn't glad to see her. In fact, he mightn't have returned to the village at all if not for the desire to see her (and the lingering, nagging thought that he really ought to update Kakashi on his recent findings regarding his mission). His injury had not been so grave that it needed immediate medical attention, but he had been close by and he'd felt as though a fine thread had been tugging him towards the village. If he had not first snooped to discover whether or not Sakura was working a shift that night, he wouldn't have gone to the Konoha hospital at all. He had been gone a long time, and he had wondered how she was doing.

She seemed fine. She was getting along well here. There was no need for him to interrupt her life further than he had already.

Silently, as to not wake her (if she was indeed sleeping) he moved towards the entryway and slipped on his shoes, shifting his travelling bag over his shoulder before he opened the door—only to find himself face-to-face with Uzumaki Naruto.

Naruto looked equally surprised to see Sasuke exiting Sakura's apartment. The two age-old rivals locked eyes, frozen in silence for a moment before a look of (false) realization lit up the features of the future-Hokage, and Naruto pointed an accusing finger at Sasuke.

"Uoah! Sasuke- _teme!_ " he cried out, much too loud for the time of morning that it was. Sasuke shot Naruto a sharpish, warning look but it didn't have any success in quieting him. "You—and Sakura-chan—"

" _Wrong_." Sasuke hissed. He understood how it might have looked: him leaving her apartment first thing in the morning, but if Naruto believed that they had slept together he was sorely mistaken. (No matter how Sasuke's second head might have not-so-secretly hoped that such a thing would transpire.) "Now shut up and keep your voice down, or you'll wake the entire village."

Naruto did not look convinced. He craned his neck to look over Sasuke's shoulder, as if to spot some evidence of an illicit encounter that had not happened.

"What are _you_ doing here, anyway?" Sasuke demanded.

"Could ask the same of you, _teme._ You don't show up for several years and then I find you here, having some tryst with Sakura-chan... I guess even _you_ have those kinds of needs..."

"Sasuke-kun? Naruto?"

 _Damn it_. Sasuke mentally winced but did not turn around as he heard the achingly familiar voice float from behind him. He should have heard the door to her bedroom open and sensed her approaching, but it seemed that his hardened battle senses had dulled somewhat during his years of relatively peaceful travel. Naruto beamed warmly at the sight of her, shoving Sasuke aside and pushing past him into Sakura's apartment.

(Just who did he think he was, barging into a single woman's home so freely?)

"Hey, hey, Sakura-chan! Guess what?" Apparently it was some exciting news that had brought Naruto to her doorstep at this ungodly hour—he looked like he was moments away from bouncing up and down and clapping his hands excitedly like a child. "You listen too, Sasuke, since you're here."

So much for his quiet, non-awkward exit. Sighing loudly, Sasuke turned at last and peered at Sakura. She had put on a robe, thankfully, but it didn't seem to erase the very vivid image of her which he kept in his mind of that nearly-see-through slip; nor her skin, so creamy and pale; nor her hair, still mussed and her body warmed from sleep as she held him tight against her chest, so he could feel the softness of her breasts pressing against his cheek, and hear the steady thrum of her heartbeat...

He swallowed, throat tight. That train of thought was not doing him any favours. Sakura looked at him a moment and he couldn't quite make out her expression. Finally she turned her attention to Naruto, answering him: "you're going to be a father?"

Sasuke's eyebrows flew up. How had the blockhead managed _that?_ That the Hyuuga heiress would give Naruto so much as a second glance was mind-boggling to Sasuke in the first place, and he'd been even more surprised to hear the announcement of their marriage. Now this?

"How did you guess?" Naruto asked, apparently astonished by Sakura's uncannily accurate prediction. "But, yeah, isn't it the greatest? Hinata told me this morning over breakfast!"

Sasuke snorted, unable to resist the urge to jab at his old teammate. "Amazing. I thought parenthood would actually require one to have sex."

"Hey!" Naruto snapped. "I have sex! Lots of sex!"

"Both of you, quit being so indelicate!" Sakura rebuked them. "Have you forgotten I'm standing right here? Geez! Sasuke-kun. Congratulate Naruto properly." he dropped his eyes and looked moderately uncomfortable at her scolding. " And Naruto, I knew because I was the one to give Hinata her check-up yesterday."

"Congrats, dobe." Sasuke said dryly, but with the faintest hint of sincerity. Even if he was constantly flabbergasted by Naruto's idiocy and couldn't resist ribbing him every so often, it was hard not to be a little pleased by his friend's happiness, even if Naruto was always the first to remind him what his own life was lacking. "Let's all hope that your child takes after his or her mother."

"I see you're about as friendly as a cactus, as always." Naruto grumbled.

Sakura laughed. The sound, like a musical, tinkling bell, caused the fine hairs on the back of his neck to prickle and stand on end. It was such a beautiful sound.

"You two never change." she said. "But really, Naruto, I know you're excited to share your news, but shouldn't you spend a little time celebrating with your wife first? Are you aware of what time it is? It's hardly five-thirty..."

"Oh, I am with Hinata." Naruto answered. "This is just a clone. I definitely wanted to tell you, and Kakashi-sensei... and rub it in Sasuke's face, so it's a good thing he's already here. I know you hate being outdone, Sasuke, especially since you always said it was your ambition to restore your Clan. Why don't you ask Sakura-chan for a baby? I'm sure she'd do it." Naruto waggled his eyebrows suggestively, and looked pointedly between the two of them. "Unless you two have been working on that already."

Sasuke could feel the heat rising to his cheeks. He was about two smack Naruto upside the head, but Sakura beat him to it, bashing him firmly atop his thick skull with her fist.

"Naruto!" she gritted out.

The clone disappeared in a puff of smoke. Both of them looked surprised, apparently having forgotten that it was not the real, physical Naruto. Tension hung between them thickly in the air, now that one third of their team was missing and it was just the two of them, left behind with the embarrassment of what had happened during the night and Naruto's wildly inappropriate suggestion. As if he could just _ask_ Sakura to give him a baby. It wasn't like asking to borrow someone's lawn mower. Sure, he did still eventually plan on restoring his Clan, but to be honest he hadn't given much thought to it lately. He was still trying to sort himself out, to _redeem_ himself, to discover what path he wanted to take in life...

No, that wasn't entirely true. He had thought about it. He had imagined it. And he couldn't imagine it with anybody else but Sakura.

She shuffled, the movement drawing his attention. She cleared her throat and reached out, her fingers catching his sleeve.

"You were going to leave. Just like that, without saying a word?"

It killed him to hear the sadness in her tone, to know that he had hurt her again, and done so willingly, and done so purposefully—but only to spare her from a much greater sadness down the road. He couldn't forgive himself for almost killing her, for the knowledge that if no one had intervened at that precise moment that she would have died by his hands, and all for what? Because he'd believed she was another bond that needed severing. It sickened him to the pit of his stomach, the memory of how he'd felt in that moment, the hatred eating at him like a _disease..._

"I need to speak with the Sixth." he answered quietly. "And update him on my mission."

"It's too early." she replied. "He won't be in his office. At least stay for breakfast, Sasuke. There's no need for you to ... go."

There was every need for him to go.

She pushed harder, turning those irresistible green eyes up at him. "Come inside, Sasuke-kun. Stay a little while."

And that was the moment he lost.

Wordlessly, he turned back towards her, slipped of his shoes, and stepped inside. She smiled at him, but it was impossible not to notice the faint lines of tension around her eyes. A buzz of sexual awareness hummed between them: the unspoken knowledge that both of them were thinking about what Naruto had said, and about the incident where he'd revealed his feelings of sexual desire for her by shoving her hand against his hard-on, but neither of them would speak about it. Or so he'd thought.

"You can have whatever you like." Sakura said.

He stared, dumbfounded. Her face blazed red and she waved her hands, spluttering incoherently a while before she managed to form words: "I-I-I meant! Breakfast! I meant for breakfast, I'll make you whatever you like that I have in the house."

Of course that was what she meant. He shouldn't have assumed anything other. Damn it, he was really going to lose his mind if he stayed around here any longer. This was too much stimulation for one day...

"Unless you want ... me."

She had uttered the words so quietly, he thought for a moment he might have misheard her. His pulse thrummed in his ears, loud as a war-drum. This wasn't ... she wasn't being serious, was she? But it wasn't like Sakura to tease. He gulped and felt his blood stir, and his heart, oh his heart—felt like it was going to leap out of his rib-cage.

"He's right you know, Naruto." she went on, fidgeting, the tips of her fingers pressed together and her eyes looking timidly up at him. "I would give you anything you wanted. I'd give you a child. I'd give you my body, if you only wanted that. You must know how I love you, Sasuke-kun ... Sasuke. I've only ever loved you."

A love which he'd never deserved and still, to this day, could not fathom.

"Sakura..." he breathed her name. His traitorous second head had begun to perk up, looking hopeful. How easy it would be for him to reach out for her, pull her into him and kiss her until they were both dizzy. And then he'd have her. All that pent up longing, the lust, the long lonely nights that he'd thought about her, wondering if she was alone, wondering if she was still waiting—and his hand would creep down and he'd picture her closely in his mind, soft and sweet and willing, spread beneath him and... the rest he was too embarrassed to admit.

There were plenty of girls who expressed an interest in him. He knew, objectively, that he was considered to be handsome. Yet the more they flirted and clung to him, the further he recoiled from their unwanted attentions. All his life it had only been Sakura who was the exception, and as he grew older that affection he felt for his teammate and friend developed into something _other,_ something dark and delicious and physical.

He'd never been so close to another human being before. The thought of being so with her both terrified and thrilled him unspeakably.

"You will regret it." he finished his thought at long last. "I can't give you what you want, Sakura. I'll never be what you want me to be."

He would never, _ever,_ in all his life be good enough for her. She deserved someone whole and radiant and gentle as she was; someone who would love her properly, who knew _how_ to love her properly. Not someone ... broken as he was, and possibly beyond all repair. As much as the thought pained him that she should be with another, he knew it was only right. At one time, he'd thought it inevitable that she would end up with his best friend. It might sting a little less, he thought, if it was Naruto. At least he could trust that Naruto would have taken care of her properly no matter what personal pain and jealousy it would have caused him. He was used to being jealous of Naruto. At least he admitted that Naruto was worthy of her when he could not say the same of anyone else (especially not himself.) But Naruto had fallen in love with Hinata, and Sakura...

"You are already exactly what I want you to be." Sakura told him. The words sunk into him like a hot knife through butter. Her eyes pierced, and help him captive, rooted in place. "You've always been exactly what I've wanted. Why won't you let me love you, Sasuke?"

" _Because I will hurt you."_

" _Because I **have** hurt you."_

"I-" But despite the answers right on the tip of his tongue, he couldn't manage to answer her question when she was staring at him like that, advancing slowly. The space between them shrunk little by little, tension ratcheting up with every step she took.

He'd never wanted anything more than he'd wanted her. Selfishly, he wanted her everything. He wanted her all. He wanted to touch her with his hands that had been bloodied with murder, he wanted to sully her, to hold her, to possess her even knowing that he would ruin her because that's all he was good for: destruction. He was a sinner, a devil—right back to square _one,_ all sad attempts at redemption washed away the moment that he did not firmly reject her and put and end to her fantasies that he could be The One.

She took his hand and brought it up to her chest, pressing it to her breast. He inhaled sharply, nostrils flaring, and looked up at the ceiling. Gods, she was so soft.

"If I'm mistaken... if you don't want to touch me, then it's fine." she told him, her voice so sweetly encouraging. Her other hand slid to undo the sash on her robe, and then, _ah,_ there it was—his nemesis—the skimpy red thing. He loved her in _red._ "But Sasuke-kun, you're..." she paused, and then finished the sentence, as if surprising herself with the sudden discovery: "really blushing."

* * *

Here it is, another chapter, again slightly longer. Dunno why I find it so much easier writing from Sasuke's POV. Probably because he's psyche is a little more complicated, I guess? Anyway, ooooooh, Sakura gets a little bolder in this chapter! And Naruto, best or worst wingman? Can't quite tell yet. x3

Do leave reviews. I feed off of them, seriously. Also, outta curiosity to my readers, is it worthwhile for me to start up a tumblr? Seems to be a lot of ff writers posting their work there nowadays and I'm not sure which is the best place to reach an audience. I've been out of the fanfiction loop for a while so I'm not sure anymore.


	7. Chapter 7

.

* * *

" _Haruno Sakura: Regular Seductress."_

She really ought to update her plaque in her office to read so, or perhaps print some business cards, Sakura thought to herself. She swallowed as she stared at Sasuke in awe—awe that he was not immediately repulsed by the very sexual overtures she happened to be making. Why yes, she had just plainly propositioned him. What madness had stolen over her in the moment, she knew not. Inner Sakura cackled wildly with triumph while she resisted the urge to leap behind her couch and hide out of embarrassment. She could feel the warmth of his palm on her breast and only the thin silken layer of her riotously naughty nightie separated bare skin from bare skin. He applied just the lightest pressure with his fingertips and she held her breath, refusing to blink or move in fear that if she did so, the moment would shatter and be lost, or perhaps like she was trying very hard not to frighten away a particularly skittish animal. A very attractive skittish animal, who was currently wearing a look she'd never seen on him before; she'd never imagined that he could go so very red in the face as blushing was _her_ forte.

"I'm not blushing." he denied quietly, flushing darker precisely as he said so. Where was her camera when she needed it? She wanted to take a picture of him like this and keep it forever; not to display, no, she wouldn't want another soul to see it. She'd keep it under her pillow and use it for ... well, never mind. _Focus,_ she ordered her errant mind. She was in the middle of trying to seduce Uchiha Sasuke.

"Um, well, yeah." Eloquent. She was off to a strong start. "I mean, you must have these sorts of desires ... yes? You're a man and it's perfectly natural." This was much more embarrassing to talk about than how she'd pictured the conversation going in her mind. Then again, in that scenario he'd drawn her into an impassioned embrace the moment she had offered himself up to him on a silver platter. She had been dead set against approaching the topic at all, convinced that it could only end in disaster, but then he was _leaving_ and she had panicked—afraid that if he left now she'd never see him again—and she'd been willing to do anything to make him stay. It was a cheap shot and she knew it perfectly well. It reeked of manipulation—she was taking advantage of him for her own selfish desires for his company. She was trying to appeal to a baser nature which he may or may not have possessed but she shouldn't have, she really shouldn't have.

He'd sounded so scared when he'd woken up screaming. He was clearly emotionally vulnerable, and she was exploiting that fact.

 _OhgodI'mahorriblehumanbeing_

New-Inner Sakura disagreed. New-Inner Sakura thought they were being perfectly sweet and helpful, offering to comfort poor Sasuke-kun and help banish his nightmares. She were going to make him feel good, that was all, and then he would desire to stay with her to seek out the pleasures of her body—nothing wrong about it.

(New-Inner Sakura was a tart.)

Sasuke didn't withdraw his hand but showed no intention of touching her further, either. He was frozen and she could see the gears turning in his head behind those dark, penetrating eyes. No matter what her slight, ulterior motives may have been, what she had said was true enough: he was what she wanted, and oh how she wanted. She was prepared to give him her all. After all, she wouldn't want anyone else claiming her virginity but Sasuke. She wouldn't be willing to give up the intimate treasure of her first time to anyone else but the man who she loved with all her heart.

They both swallowed simultaneously; she could see his Adam's Apple bob. (She wanted to press her lips right there, on that little protrusion on his neck that was so, so sexy). Finally, he spoke: "...Are you sure about this?"

That sounded like ... like he was actually considering it. Her heart began pounding in her chest like a trapped bird in a cage, her eyes widening. When she had insanely blurted out her offer of sex, deep down she hadn't genuinely considered for a moment that he might accept it. She was so accustomed to his rejection that it now seemed natural, expected—the only obvious outcome. Anything else was impossible.

 _'Kiss him. Put your tongue in his mouth before he can change his mind!'_

Dazed and flushed, she nodded her head at him slowly once. Sasuke stepped towards her, closing what little distance remained between them. His hand moved at last, sliding up where it slowly, deliberately, pushed one strap of her nightdress over her shoulder, leaving the pale curve exposed. She shivered lightly, although it wasn't cold.

"I won't let you take it back." he warned her in a low rumble, and the sound of his voice rocked her to her very core. This ... was real, Sakura thought dimly. This was actually happening. Sasuke was here with her, and they were going to—

' _fuck like happy bunnies in spring!'_

"If you come to regret it later, there's nothing I can do." he went on without breaking eye contact. The years had done many favours for him—he had aged well. His eyes were her favourite feature and they were as gorgeous as ever, even with the addition of the rinnegan. It was nearly for her to look impossible to look away. She and Sasuke have always had a special way, she thought, of communicating with their eyes; right now his eyes were telling her that he wanted her.

She wanted him, too. Funny how she always imagined that her first time would be grandly romantic: on her wedding night on a bed scattered with rose petals, after a glass or two of fine champagne with the moonlight filtering in through windows overhead. She realized now that none of that mattered as long as it was Sasuke.

"I couldn't possibly regret it." she said, and meant it with the utmost sincerity. Her words gave him pause and he looked at her curiosity, speculating, before seeming to decide something. Then he leaned towards her, and he was so close that she could feel his breath near her lips, and her mind went blank except for the thought that he was going to kiss her, and he was going to kiss her, _and he was going to kiss her, and_ —

"Sakura-chaaaaan."

The sound of the voice outside her door startled Sasuke away and he jumped back from her like a child who had been caught with his hands in the cookie jar.

She was going to _kill_ Naruto.

He pounded on the door loudly with his fist. Sasuke took another step away from her and ran his hand over the back of his neck. Flustered and fully prepared to murder her blond friend and teammate, Sakura hastily refastened her robe and turned to answer the door, yanking it open suddenly and snapping: " _what?_ What is it now, Naruto?"

He blinked at her innocently. "Hey, you're the one that killed the other clone. I wasn't finished talking yet."

 _'Throw him off the balcony.'_ New-Inner Sakura cooed. She was sorely tempted.

"Well." she waved her hand at him irately, encouraging him to go on.

"Actually I spoke to Hinata, and she wanted me to invite you both over for breakfast. There's something that we wanted to ask the two of you, since you're both here for a change." Naruto answered, grinning guilelessly. "Unless I'm interrupting something."

No, no. Not at all, she thought bitterly.

"I don't want to intrude on your family time, Naruto." she tried to worm her way out of the invitation. "You should-"

"But both of you are family."

Sakura softened marginally, touched by the sentiment.

 _'Cock-blocker.'_

"Come, come!" Naruto insisted. "Won't take no for an answer. I'll keep sending clones until you both accept the invitation."

She sighed and tried hard not to look at Sasuke or throttle Naruto.

"It's fine, Sakura." Sasuke said. She felt a strong twinge of disappointment. "Let's go so he'll shut up."

* * *

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Naruto: still best wingman?

C'mon, guys, you had to know it wouldn't have been that easy. Or at least I knew it. What can I say, I'm all about the anticipation. If y'all are really dying for some instant sasusaku smut, try my new story 'Firsts.' It's a oneshot collection and the first chapter gets pretteh steamy.

Also I'm trying to make a playlist of good sasusaku songs for writing. What are some of your guys' favourite choices? Some good tunes that just scream "sasusaku?"

AAAAAND also, I made a tumblr, for those of you who are into tumblr. I don't have it completely set up yet but you can find me at this account: t-a-c-o-c-a-t-writes


	8. Chapter 8

...

* * *

Sasuke wasn't sure if he ought to thank Naruto or strangle him for his interruption. He had uncanny timing, as always—if his clone had arrived just ten minutes later he might have walked in on something that he really didn't need to witness and Sasuke would have done something that he could never take back. He struggled to keep his breathing and the frantic beating of his heart in check. _That had been close._ Much too close for comfort. And yet it had seemed so easy and natural to him that he should succumb to her deeply tempting invitation, like a moth lured to her flame. He had always thought that Sakura was beautiful. When she was a girl she was fresh and pretty as a spring bud, just as her name suggested; all sweet smiles and lush eyes and innocence. As a young woman she became powerful and breathtaking and came into her curves—just the promise of something soft and enticing underneath her clothes, nothing dramatic or caricature-like but undeniably, alluringly feminine. Now she was strong and sexy and impossible to ignore.

He had a kind of feeling like he was standing just in front of a door and she was on the other side, waving for him to come to her. Through that door was an entirely different world and he was eager to cross the threshold but at the same time nervous about what awaited him beyond the door-frame. He was used to being on his own—he had always been so since he'd lost his family, and since his crimes he felt that he should always be so. He had no place in that world with her; a softer, warmer world. He wanted it and he wanted _her,_ but he hesitated—afraid.

So perhaps it was best that Naruto had reappeared precisely when he had. In time, Sakura would come to realize that she was better off for it. They were merely responding their hormones, acting in the heat of a moment, without clearly thinking things through. She was perfectly right in thinking that he had sexual desires, though she might not have realized that those desires seemed to be exclusively for her. Sasuke thought about her in ways that he would be ashamed to admit out loud. He thought about her naked, writhing beneath him and crying his name as he did terrible things to her body. He wondered how it would _feel—_ surely so much better than the palm of his hand when he was too wound up late at night to sleep and wanted to blow off some steam. He had never really talked to anyone about sex before, and so his understanding of it was limited to the drunken retellings he overheard in bars and what little he had read about in books. His parents had died before they could educate him about such adult issues, and although Kakashi had once tried to give him "the talk" in a moment both horrifying and awkward, he lacked any real experience or know-how in such matters.

But of course he would never admit that out-loud either—lest it get out that Uchiha Sasuke, reformed avenger, was not only still a virgin (while Naruto was expecting his first child, for heaven's sake!) but really knew nothing at all about sex except the basics (penis goes in, movement, orgasm, something about foreplay?) and some vague-ish notions of alternative sexual activities which sounded both somewhat embarrassing and titillating.

But this train of thought was doing him very little favours at all, as he followed clone-Naruto and Sakura out of her apartment and in the direction of the home that Naruto and Hinata shared, all the while trying not to make it obvious that he was staring at her rear. She shot a glance at him over their shoulder and their eyes met. His cheeks flushed pink. She had gotten dressed, obviously, while he and clone-Naruto had waiting in the living room in awkward silence. He was no longer was he tempted by the sight of her skimpy red nightie and they were in public and chaperoned, so he could not simply push her up against the nearest wall and divest her of all her clothes and give her what she had been clearly asking for. She was safe from him out in the open.

(Like he was some sort of depraved villain with no self-control, looking to ravish her at the earliest opportunity.)

She blinked at him, her pink hair fluttering as she whipped her head back to face forward, and commented to clone-Naruto about the early summer weather.

Naruto and his wife had moved into a nice neighbourhood, quiet and well-treed with a nice view of Hokage Mountain on which someday Naruto would see his own face carved, overlooking the village of Konoha. Hinata welcomed them graciously into their home, squeaking a timid "hello" in his direction and greeting Sakura with a hug, while the additional clone disappeared with a soft 'poof.' Sasuke stifled a yawn and looked around the entryway. There were obvious signs of a happy couple living together: a half-limp bouquet of daffodils in a vase on the kitchen counter, wedding portraits hung on the walls, two jackets (one orange and one lavender—sunset colours) hanging side by side in the coat closet. The smells of cooking breakfast wafted from the kitchen and Sasuke realized how hungry he was. He hadn't eaten a home-cooked meal in ages. The real Naruto was sitting in the kitchen in his pajamas, sleep-rumpled and bleary-eyed, looking like he was moments away from nodding off at the table.

"Congratulations, Hinata." Sakura offered sincerely.

"W-well, you already knew, but." Hinata smiled at her—the warm glow of an expectant mother. "We're glad you could join us for breakfast. T-the both of you. Please, come and sit down."

"Congratulations." Sasuke told Naruto's wife, doing as he was told and slipping off his shoes and stepping into their quaint little home. "Hyu—well, I suppose it's Uzumaki-san now."

"Ah, uh, yes." Hinata replied. "Just 'Hinata' is fine, because Naruto is also Uzumaki-san ... so it might be a little bit confusing."

He nodded his head and sat down at the table as directed. Naruto regarded him sleepily. "You better not be flirting with my wife, _teme._ You already have Sakura-chan."

This comment managed to cause both Hinata and Sakura to flush, and Sasuke aimed a kick at Naruto's shin under the table.

"Ow!"

"Geez, Naruto. Give it a break already." Sakura mumbled, evidently as embarrassed as he was. As a matter of fact, Sasuke did _not_ have Sakura and he had not _had_ Sakura in the physical sense of the word, either—thanks to the untimely intrusion of a certain blond, whiskered someone.

"We weren't f-flirting." Insisted a flustered Hinata. Naruto caught her wrist as she passed, inclining his head up for a kiss which she shyly supplied. Sasuke shuffled covertly, slightly uncomfortable with the public display of affection. But he did have to admit: they made a good couple and balanced each other out nicely. He couldn't help but wonder what it would be like to be married (to Sakura), or to be happily expecting a child with his wife (Sakura), or to share a home with someone who loved him (Sakura). It was hard for him to imagine living a life of domestic bliss. It was hard to imagine himself so ...

... _Happy._ Yes, that was precisely it: he couldn't imagine himself ever being so deliriously happy. It seemed wrong. He didn't feel like he deserved it or that the universe would ever saw fit to give it to him.

"So." Naruto began once Hinata had served up a breakfast of egg over rice, miso soup, and grilled mackerel and they had begun eating. It was good food, although he couldn't help but feel that he would have liked it if Sakura had cooked for him. "I bet you're wondering why I've asked you here today... well, Hinata and I discussed it,"

He looked meaningfully at his wife and she nodded her head, reaching for her husband's hand.

"And we wanted to ask you two to be the baby's god parents. Sasuke, you would be the god father, and Sakura would be the god mother."

Naruto grinned a sunny grin and Sasuke blinked, surprised by the request. Then came a flutter of unease; he didn't really feel as though he had warranted such an honour. It was unlikely that anything would happen to either Naruto or Hinata, as they were both strong and the world was no longer at war—even so, he didn't feel worthy of the title or position of 'god parent.'

Sakura was the first to break the stunned silence. "M-me? Oh, I ... I really don't know what to say ... I, well of course I will. I'm so touched that you'd ask me." She wiped hastily and covertly at her eyes before offering a watery smile to the expectant parents. "Thank you. It really means a lot."

Naruto's grin was unwavering; he really ought to watch where he was pointing that thing. It was ridiculously bright—so bright that sometimes Sasuke felt forced to look away, like he was staring directly at the sun. "Of course we would, Sakura-chan. Like I said, you're family." Naruto answered and Hinata wordlessly nodded in agreement. "Sasuke?"

Now all of their attention was directed on to him and his anxiety ratcheted up a notch. "I ... I don't think I'm really suitable for something like that." he managed finally, a fine line drawn between his brows. He didn't want to insult either of them, but there were better options out there.

"Nonsense, Sasuke." Naruto said forcefully—so forcefully that it startled him mildly and he glanced up, meeting earnest blue eyes. "You are my best friend and one of the most important people in my life. I wouldn't want to ask anybody else."

His heart twisted uncomfortably. He always wondered how Naruto was able to say things like that so easily—how he could just blurt out his private feelings regardless of who was sitting around watching and listening. Sasuke had never been able to do the same. "I ... I see. Well, if it's what you want." he said finally.

"Well, then it's settled then." Naruto beamed.

Apparently, but Sasuke still felt awkward accepting. It made him feel strangely guilty, like he had deceived them into thinking that he was someone he was not. Naruto placed entirely too much faith in him and he worried that he could never live up to his expectations, or Sakura's expectations, or anyone's. There was a part of him that feared redemption would always be beyond his grasp—and perhaps part of the reason he hadn't come home yet was that he felt like he _couldn't._ It was like a self-exile; he wandered, protecting the village from a distance, trying to make up for the terrible things he'd done and make sense of all the horrible things he'd seen, but knowing deep down that he would never break even or be able to return. Naruto launched in to a long rant about baby names, and Sasuke picked quietly at his breakfast.

Something brushed his hand under the table: it was her hand, warm and soft, and it took his and squeezed. He looked up at Sakura, and she smiled at him reassuringly in response. _"It's okay,"_ her eyes seemed to say.

His heart thudded loudly. How was it that she knew—how was it that she always knew?

Neither of them pulled their hand away for a long time. Her hand felt electric in his, but at the same time so, so perfect. It wasn't until Naruto remarked: "Oi, _teme,_ do you have a problem with my wife's cooking?" that Sakura gave his hand one last quick squeeze before letting go.

"No. It's fine." he muttered, and set back into his meal.

* * *

D'awwww. Kinda had a huge "d'awwww" moment there when she grabbed his hand under the table. Sasuke and Sakura and their eye smex. x3 She's so good at knowing what's up with him. Sasuke just feels like he's a bad man and he doesn't deserve nice things. S'okay, Sasuke. Sakura just wants to luuuuurve you.

As usual, thanks to all you who have reviewed so far! Reviews are like crack, and they seriously keep me going. If you liked the chapter drop me a line or two! You'll make my day and the updates will be that much faster, promise. :)

Also I posted a new fanart to my tumblr account at t-a-c-o-c-a-t-writes, check it out? /shameless self-advertisement


	9. Chapter 9

...

* * *

She could practically feel that he was hedging himself in, the way Sasuke always did when he felt important emotional bonds attempting to creep their way into his closely-guarded heart. Sakura tried not to look at him too much as they ate their breakfast, with little success. She always inevitably found herself looking at Sasuke; he had a sort of magnetism about him that constantly drew her gaze, and not just in the sense that he was almost unbearably handsome, but because she _loved_ him and gravitated towards him like she was his own little moon; how happy she would be if she could spend her entire life in his orbit.

Sakura wished that she could know what was going on inside of that pretty little head of his, but that never stopped her from speculating. Though she would never claim it out loud, privately she liked to believe that she had gotten better at reading him and the subtleties of his oftentimes fantastically unvaried facial expressions. Eyebrows drawn ever so slightly together, corners of eyes and mouth tight: he was anxious. She wanted to press her fingers to that tiny line in between his brows and smooth it away—no, she wanted to press her lips there and kiss it. Well, to be completely frank she just wanted to kiss him all over, rip his clothes from his body and do unspeakable things to him right on Hinata and Naruto's kitchen table, but thank god for inhibitions and impulse control.

How did he feel about the fact that they'd been interrupted? Did he consider it a godsend or a curse? She hadn't yet gotten over the feeling that she'd really like to throw Naruto off her balcony ... it had taken so much courage for her to offer herself up to him, and she'd been completely floored that he'd taken the bait at last, so to speak. Sakura felt as though she'd been sitting for years in a little fishing boat with her lure dangling off the end, and at last she had gotten the smallest and shiest of nibbles—and she'd been prepared to reel him in carefully, oh so _carefully_ so that he wouldn't struggle and break free ... until Naruto had gone splashing through the lake like the great, incurable oaf he was and frightened her catch away. (Although she felt moderately bad for thinking of a living person in terms of a fishing metaphor, it was accurate nonetheless.) Now she feared that opportunity was lost forever and she'd never be able to recreate it. She could see it in his eyes: Sasuke was contemplating. And that was a very dangerous thing indeed, as she knew that the man was an expert at contemplating his way out of darn near anything and everything. He brooded and brooded, until he had managed to convince himself that the best solution to all his problems was to withdraw deeply into his shell. She couldn't blame him, exactly. He had seen terrible things and it was a self-defense mechanism.

After breakfast they bid their goodbyes and exchanged hugs; or at least Sakura hugged Hinata and Naruto while Sasuke stood to the sidelines, avoiding contact until he was drawn into a crushing embrace by Naruto, who of course had never been shy about being physically affectionate with the people he considered to be important to him. Sakura saw Sasuke tense. She saw the look of intense discomfort on his steely features and then, for a split second she thought she saw him soften marginally, his hand twitching towards Naruto's back hesitantly, about to return the embrace—just the instant before Naruto let him go. His hand dropped back to his side.

"It's good to see you again, Sasuke." Naruto said, and Hinata nodded. "Don't be a stranger."

"Hn." Sasuke grunted and lifted one shoulder in the most noncommittal, Sasuke-like of answers.

"How long are you planning on staying in the village?" Naruto asked him then and Sakura looked up to hear the answer—the one question she'd been dreading to ask him herself.

"Not long," he replied, and her heart sunk. She knew that, of course—he never stayed for long. His presences were as rare and fleeting and beautiful as a blue moon. "I just need to update Kakashi, resupply, and then I'll be on my way again."

Her heart plummeted. She knew she should not have hoped for anything more, that it was foolish for her to think that he would return for good anytime soon, and yet she had kept that fragile desire nonetheless—wanting to cling to him, to grasp onto him tightly and tie them together so that she felt like they had a true connection. She did not need her love to be requited—she had never asked for it and never _would_ ask that of him. She only wanted to _see_ him from time to time; to hear the delicious, baritone rumble of his voice, to meet his gaze on occasion and feel her soul lit ablaze. There was something magic in his eyes, like a secret only she knew—something the two of them shared when they looked at each other, and no one else. She lived for those moments and she felt incomplete when he was gone. She missed him terribly.

"Well, keep in touch. Would it kill you to come back and visit every once and a while?" Naruto scolded him.

"I'm on an important mission." Sasuke sighed. Sakura knew this, but sometimes she wondered what could be more important than him being here, where he so clearly belonged, with the people who loved him: Naruto and Kakashi-sensei and _her,_ always her.

They left shortly afterwards. The still-early sun had risen higher in the sky, painting Konoha soft yellow and people had begun to stir from their homes and spill into the streets. They walked side-by-side.

She was the first to break the silence, as usual: "...Can't you stay just a little? A few days? You deserve a break." she said quietly.

"No." he answered. "I can't stay."

* * *

Another short chapter! I just wanted to get you guys something. I'm still pretty busy with finals. Last one is tomorrow, and then I should have a little more free time to update this baby.


	10. Chapter 10

...

* * *

He wondered how many times he would make her wear that precise, heartbreaking expression: the one she got whenever she was reaching out for him and he twisted harshly away from her, with her green eyes wide and sad as that of a kicked puppy. It wasn't that he meant to cause her pain. God knows he had done enough of that already, and in truth Sasuke wouldn't have minded staying in the village a little longer—staying with _her_ a little longer—but it felt too much like giving in to temptation. It would be wrong of him to stay, to give her false hope of something existing between them that could not and would never be. He questioned how she could still be so gentle and patient, how she could look at him with such blind adoration in her eyes after all he'd done—after all this time. She still treated him like he was special and he would never in a million years deserve it. Naruto he could understand; Naruto was an unrelenting idiot and that was the sole reason he'd never given up on Sasuke all those years. Sakura was no fool. She was a bright, intelligent, independent woman who surely could have no shortage of admirers. Any man would be lucky to have her as a girlfriend and someday as a wife—a better man than he, who would be better capable of appreciating her, who would be able to stay with her always and give her precisely what she needed.

 _(He wanted to round up every man fitting the above description and light them on fire with his Amaterasu.)_

They parted ways at the fork in the road where she returned to her apartment and he continued on to the Hokage's office. He walked briskly and it took every ounce of self-control he possessed not to glance back at her over his shoulder. If he looked and found her looking back at him, too, he was scared that his willpower would break apart and he would give in to all his selfish wants. He wanted to have sex with her. But more than that, he wanted to _be_ with her. He wanted to stay with her, here in the village where Naruto and Kakashi and every important person to him was. He wanted a lot of things that he simply couldn't have, because he _needed_ to atone for his sins and the only way that he could do so was to continue keeping this village and all of them safe from hidden threats.

Kakashi was in his office when Sasuke arrived and he was quickly shown in by Kakashi's new assistant. Kakashi sat up straighter when Sasuke entered but looked unsurprised to see him. He supposed that as Kakashi was now Hokage, it was only natural that he should know who was coming and going from the village.

"Sasuke." he greeted, the corners of his eyes crinkling affectionately. Although the bottom part of his face was ever-concealed behind a mask, Sasuke could tell that he was smiling faintly. "It's good to see you again. You've gotten taller."

"Hn." Sasuke replied in his usual, non-verbose manner.

"But I'm sure you didn't come just for pleasantries." Kakashi said, yawning and setting aside his (smutty) book. "Please, have a seat."

He gestured at the chair opposite his desk and Sasuke sat down after a moment's pause, regarding his old sensei observantly. He looked somewhat older and more tired since he'd taken the position of Hokage, but otherwise he seemed very much the same old Kakashi that Sasuke remembered: laid-back and easy going on the surface but wise and dependable underneath. He made a good Hokage, even though most people were well-aware—himself included—that he was only holding the title so he could groom his successor, as Naruto was as of yet too young, inexperienced and immature to deal with all the administrative duties that came with leading a village. Regardless, Konoha was in good hands.

"Tell me about your travels, Sasuke." Kakashi said, growing more serious then. He templed his fingers together and leaned his elbows on the desk. "Have you discovered anything new concerning Otsutsuki?"

"Not much." Sasuke admitted, but that much was to be expected. He'd known when he'd embarked on his mission that it would be a long and slow-going one, but too important to ignore. It gave him something to focus on in between his wanderings and introspection. "I've got a small lead. Traces of her chakra to the North. I intend to follow them and see where it takes me."

"You will be leaving soon then, I take it?" Kakashi inquired, quirking one silvery brow. Sasuke nodded in reply. "Hm ... well, it is not that I am unhappy to see you—you really should visit more often—but I wonder why you couldn't have informed me of that by hawk."

He felt his old mentor's keen gaze fix on him, and Sasuke cleared his throat and pretended to be very interested in a loose threat on his trousers. Damn Kakashi—the man was unfailingly astute as always. "I was in the area. I had an injury that needed treatment ... and I had to resupply."

"Ah-hah." Kakashi said as if he'd drawn some conclusion. "You had an ... injury that needed treatment." (Apparently Kakashi had drawn a conclusion, and it was the correct one.) "You saw Sakura then, I take it?"

Sasuke nodded again. He had seen Sakura, and he'd seen a lot more of her than he was used to seeing—except in his lewdest of dreams and private fantasies. It was still difficult to shake the image of her pale, creamy skin that looked so smooth to the touch and inviting. She took good care of her skin, so much so that one might not except that she was a hardened shinobi who fought with all the ferocity of a lioness—that she'd had her fair share of injuries and scars. He remembered the way she'd smelled, like flowers and sunshine: a scent that was so sweetly familiar as she'd held him in her arms and stroked his hair and banished all his nightmares with each pass of her healer's fingers. He'd wanted to stay there forever. And then ... his penis had gone and ruined everything.

"She's become quite the beautiful woman, if I may say so." Kakashi chuckled and Sasuke tried better to conceal his thoughts. "She has her fair share of admirers in the village."

Sasuke tensed, his shoulders stiffening at the unpleasant thought. It shouldn't have been a surprise; he expected it, naturally, because she _was_ a beautiful woman and others were bound to notice. Once again he wanted to round up every 'admirer' of hers and light them on fire with his Amaterasu.

There was a pause. Kakashi peered at him thoughtfully a moment, and Sasuke could practically feel the gears churning behind the sixth Hokage's perpetually aloof gaze. Yes, so he was a jealous man. Sasuke knew this about himself; he hated competition and always had. But now rather than feeling like he wanted to be the strongest and the best able to protect those close to him, he wanted to be the only man in the world so she couldn't look at anyone else, talk to anyone else, hold them or be held by them or kiss them or touch them.

"She might not wait forever, Sasuke." Kakashi reminded him quietly.

He knew that. What he didn't know was if he feared that she would eventually move on or depended on it; or rather, as he felt both of those things, which was the dominant desire. He knew which he _should_ want. She would be happier with someone else. He should want her to be happy.

"I don't deserve her." he answered simply, feeling the words come out of him before he could stop them. Maybe it was because he was tired or sexually frustrated or lonely or sad or angry or any combination of the above that his tongue had loosened; he normally didn't talk about his insecurities in front of others. "She deserves so much better than me."

"Oh, I know." Kakashi deadpanned bluntly, and Sasuke blinked, taken aback. Well, Kakashi had never been one to mince his words, but ... "But that girl deserves what she wants, and she wants you. So you had better stop bemoaning the fact that you aren't worthy of her and start trying to become a man who is. Reconsidering this self-banishment would be a good place to start."

"I ... I don't know that I can." he admitted honestly. Because that was what he feared most of all: that no matter what he did now he was already too far gone to redeem himself. The blood on his hands could never be washed clean and he would forever have to live with the guilt of his sins. How could he touch her, knowing it would only taint her? If he were to take something so innocent and lovely and dirty and destroy her then he would truly be a monster.

"You can." Kakashi smiled at him and Sasuke looked away, uncomfortable. "I know you can. You are my student, after all." he chuckled to himself, paused, and then continued: "I see a good deal of myself in you. We're alike, you and I. We are masters at blaming ourselves. You made bad choices, Sasuke, but remember that not all of it was completely within your control. Grief has a way of bringing out the worst in all of us. So think about it a little. Stay a while."

"I can't stay." he replied and ignored the look of disappointment on Kakashi's face. "I don't want to lose track of the traces of Otsutsuki's chakra."

"Hm. Well, if you're sure. Prepare a list of supplies that you'll need, and we'll have them arranged for you."

"It might be dangerous." Sasuke blurted. "I ... might need a medic." And then, growing increasingly embarrassed his voice trailed off into an almost indistinguishable mutter: "a ... very skilled ... one."

"Oh?" The fabric around Kakashi's mouth twitched as his smile returned. "Well I see not just anyone will do. Perhaps Shizune..."

He was being teased. Sasuke hated being teased. "Sensei." he grunted, (unaware that he had unconsciously reverted back to referring to his old mentor as 'sensei') "I'm asking you to give Sakura leave to accompany me."

Kakashi didn't answer right away but stroked his chin thoughtfully, considering Sasuke from across the Hokage's desk. "Well..." he began. "It would be difficult. She's busy both with the hospital and her clinic. I would have to ask for Tsunade to come out of her semi-retirement, but provided that I can do that, and of course, that Sakura is willing ... I think it would be good for the both of you."

Sasuke sincerely hoped that he was correct, but couldn't help but wonder if he was making a mistake.

Kakashi leaned towards him, interrupting Sasuke's habitual second-guessing of himself, and announced suddenly: "Sasuke, I think it's time that I gave you something, something that I've been meaning to pass on to you as a mentor to his student. I think you will find it useful in your travels."

Sasuke sat up alertly and wondered what it could be. A powerful weapon? A scroll? Kakashi opened one of the bottom drawers of his desk, removed an item from it, and then very slowly and deliberately—and in perfect seriousness—slid a copy of _Icha Icha Paradise_ across the desk towards him. Sasuke gave him a flat, unimpressed look.

"Trust me." Kakashi insisted.

Sasuke hesitated, and then swiped the book off of the desk and stashed it in his cloak so quickly the movement would have been unseen except by the sharpest of eyes. It was not that he planned to read the thing, no, it was just because it was rude to refuse a gift.

"You'll thank me later." Kakashi told him. "And don't forget to use protection."

* * *

Finally posted a new chapter of this! Phew. Lawl at Kakashi. He knows what's up.


	11. Chapter 11

...

* * *

All her life she had wondered what it would be like to kiss Uchiha Sasuke; now she knew he tasted like salt and steel and ever so faintly of tomatoes. His arm slid around her waist—a tight, possessive grip—and she gasped when she felt his hard erection press against her lower torso, blood rushing to her cheeks and heat pooling deep in her core. Her heart was beating a mile a minute, pulsing so wildly out of control that she feared it might escape from her ribcage and take flight.

"Sasuke," she whispered as they broke apart for air, his lips still brushing hers. His eyes slid open partway, mismatched black and violet, and there was so much intensity in his lidded stared that it caused desire to sear right through her. He had the most dark, piercing eyes. No one could make her weak in the knees with just a single glance like he could; his gaze oozed confidence and raw masculinity and sex. She could spend forever lost in his eyes.

"I want you so badly right now." he murmured, the husky baritone of his voice saying those exact words unspeakably erotic. Sakura trembled and melted against him, her hands sliding up into his thick, dark hair as his mouth slanted against hers hungrily, deepening the kiss. His tongue pushed past her lips, taking her entirely by surprise. She had kissed before but never like this; never so intimately nor with such unrestrained passion. It was like a little spark that slowly grew into a blazing inferno and they were swept away quickly into the heat; the flames at them whole, burning away all her fears and inhibitions until there was nothing left but her and him and their snowballing lust. They stumbled towards the bed, falling back against the mattress in a tangle of limbs. She grasped at him with more fervour and wrapped her legs around him tightly—afraid that if she let go of him even for a moment he would slip away from her again.

 _'Take him! Take him now!'_ Inner-Sakura screamed.

"Yes," she panted her encouragement as he shoved his hips against her roughly and she felt the stiff length of his arousal grind against her through the barrier of their clothing. "Yes, I want you too, I've always wanted you..."

And to be wanted by him in return. She was so happy she might die; though if her heart would fail her she hoped it did so after she'd given him her virginity. It would be a good death. It seemed too good to be true. She ought to pinch herself to make sure she wasn't dreaming...

"Sakura..." his lips passed over her neck and she arched towards him, letting out a ragged moan. "Sakura ... Sakura-san..."

 _'Sakura-san?'_ That was awfully formal, but whatever he liked. Sasuke had always been peculiar so it only seemed natural that he should have certain idiosyncrasies in bed as well.

"Sakura-san? Hello? Wake up please."

"Uh?" she grunted and came awake with a suddenly, nearly fall out of the cot on which she was sprawled, wrapped like a vice around a poor, abused feather pillow. A pair of eyes _not_ belonging to Sasuke stared down at her, effectively dragging her out of her steamy dream and she surfaced with with a startled noise, shooting upright and hitting her head on the bunk above hers. "Oh! Ow."

"Ah, sorry." the young man said. He was one of her coworkers at the hospital and she was napping in the on-call room in between patients. Between her late light last night, her early start this morning, and the fact that she'd been woken up in the middle because Sasuke had been having nightmares she hadn't gotten much in the way of sleep. "I was asked to wake you."

"It's fine." she muttered, rubbing the back of her head and smoothing at her ruffled pink hair. She was completely ignorant of the way the young medic-nin (what was his name again? Shuu? Shou?) looked at her with admiring eyes and a big, dopey smile. Other men were all but invisible to her—at least where romance was concerned. Were she a little more self-aware she might have realized that she was actually quite popular with the opposite sex, but though she may have been intuitive and observant, in this one area she was honestly clueless. "Do I have a patient?"

"No." he answered quickly, shaking his head. "You're being assigned to an important mission. The Hokage has summoned you. You're excused from the hospital today."

"Oh." she said, genuinely surprised. She wasn't often put on missions lately—not when they were so busy at the hospital and her clinic and she was essential to things moving smoothly. Whatever it was, it must have been important—and urgent. She tried to bite back a wave of disappointment. Sasuke had only just arrived and there was no telling how long he would be in the village. If she left now she might miss her only opportunity to spend the tiniest bit of time with him. Even if it was only a day or two while he recovered and resupplied, it would be better than nothing; chances to see him were few and far in between and he had made it clear to her that he didn't plan on staying in the village long. She wanted to make the best of the time while he was here.

"B-by the way, Sakura-san, I was wondering if sometime you might like to..."

She yawned and didn't hear him finish his sentence. "Thanks for letting me know, Shuu. Bye."

She gathered up her things and left the room before he could say another word, let alone correct her that his name wasn't actually 'Shuu.'

When she arrived at Kakashi's office it was the mid-afternoon; the sun was bright and high overhead and the streets were full and lively. He was expecting her and she was shown inside immediately.

"Sakura." he greeted her affectionately, setting aside his paperwork—and frankly looking grateful for an excuse to do so. Desk work suited him ill but he made a fine Hokage nonetheless. Kakashi had always cared deeply about the village. "I presume you've been told?"

At first she wasn't quite sure about what he was referring to. "The mission?" she blinked. "Oh, you mean Hinata and Naruto. Yes, I found out yesterday."

"No, I meant the mission, although it is good news, is it not? You've all grown up so fast. It seems hardly yesterday you were all genin, dropping chalkboard erasers on my head and trying to steal the bells..." he trailed off as he reminisced fondly for a moment, before getting back to the matter at hand: "I'm officially assigning you to accompany Sasuke as he follows the traces of Kaguya's chakra to the north. It will be a long trip, as I understand it, so you'll need to get your things in order. Tsunade has agreed to take over your responsibilities at the hospital in your absence and Ino will be taking charge of the clinic. I thought he would have told you that himself, did he not?"

She could scarcely believe her ears. It sounded like a dream come true—yet her first response was that of great anxiety. She didn't want to get her hopes up. No matter if it would have been everything she'd ever hoped for ... she didn't want to burden Sasuke or force her presence on him when he didn't want it. Kakashi was kind and he looked out for her, but she shuddered at the thought of becoming an _annoyance._ She was a capable Shinobi and she knew this better than anyone, but if Sasuke didn't want her with him then she would serve little purpose.

"Kakashi-sensei, I don't think Sasuke would want that." she said quickly, feeling her heart sting as she said so. But if it had been his intention to bring her with him he would have asked her when she'd implored him to stay.

Kakashi only smiled knowingly at her. "On the contrary." he said. "He was the one to ask that you accompany him. That's why I thought he would have told you, though I suppose, it is Sasuke..."

Her world shifted. She swore she felt the ground move beneath her feet as she stood there, floored, and stared at her Sensei in stunned silence. She was still dreaming. She was still asleep in the cot in the on-call room and soon she was going to wake up and realize that this was all a figment of her overactive imagination, shaped by the fiercest longings of her heart.

Slow seconds ticked by. Finally, she managed: "Sasuke-kun did? Sasuke-kun asked?"

"Mhm." Kakashi answered her cheerfully.

"Sasuke-kun ... wants me ... to go with him?"

 _'Shannaro!'_ Inner-Sakura had less trouble believing him; she was praising the lord with her fists in the air in the midst of a victory dance. But outwardly she could not help but be a little more cautious;

"Yes, Sakura." Kakashi insisted.

"It's not a joke? You mean it? Was it really Sasuke? It wasn't just Naruto pretending to be Sasuke? He's done that before. Sasuke—the real Sasuke—said that he wants me to come with him?" she rambled on, taking a few wobbly steps forwards and planting her hands on the Hokage's desk as she stared directly into Kakashi's eyes, waiting for any sign that it was a prank or a trick. "Really? _Really?_ "

" _Yes,_ Sakura." he repeated, placing a hand gently on top of her head and giving her a pat. "You don't think I could tell the difference between Sasuke and Naruto's chakra? The real, genuine Sasuke was here this morning and he asked me to give you leave to come with him. I've arranged it so that you can go. Take good care of him, okay?"

She wasn't sure if she should laugh or cry. Slowly, a smile made its way onto her face until she found herself absolutely beaming from ear to ear, her cheeks tinged pink and eyes aglow with pure delight. It had pained her to hear that he wouldn't stay, and she'd almost convinced herself that it was beyond all hope—that he would forever be just outside of her reach, but then he'd gone and extended his hand and welcomed her to join him instead. But she was confused: why hadn't he just asked her himself? Surely Sasuke knew that she would follow him anywhere if he so much as crooked a finger in her direction. There was no need for him to take such a roundabout method as having Kakashi assign her to a _mission._

And then, she questioned, _why?_ He was more than capable of taking care of himself. It made her uneasy sometimes to know that he was gone, fighting unseen evils where she could not help him nor protect him, but Sasuke was strong.

 _'He wants us badly.'_ Inner-Sakura proposed saucily and she blushed at the very thought. Should she follow him if that was the only reason he had asked? She was not a ... _thing._ Of course she wanted to be with him, however he would have her, but should she be so willing to offer herself up only for sex? She liked to imagine that she had some dignity.

But neither could she easily demand that he love her; to do so would be unrealistic and unfair. She did not know which was better: that she deny herself the opportunity of having any deeper connection with him—even if it was only physical—to preserve her dignity, or that she should indulge herself and be with the man she loved and have those experiences she longed for no matter how one-sided. Her pride demanded that she hold herself to a higher standard, but her heart insisted that it wouldn't matter if he never loved her back so long as he didn't send her away; that she could live her whole life quite happily just on the doorstep to his inaccessible heart, never setting foot inside.

"Sakura?" Kakashi patted her head again to draw her attention, watching her rapidly changing array of emotions with amusement. "He needs you. I don't think he realizes just how much yet, but he needs you. Don't stop fighting for him. He'll come around."

She softened, a little reassured by his words. Was it alright for her to hope that his interest in her was _not_ only sexual? Was it alright to imagine that this might be her golden opportunity—the start of something beautiful?

"I've loved him for so long." she said.

"I know you have." Kakashi replied. "So go with him, Sakura."

Pause. He smiled slyly.

"And don't forget to use protec-"

Red-faced and frazzled, she bonked him over the head with her fist before he could finish his sentence, knowing full-well what he was about to say.

* * *

TL;DR version:

Sakura: *naughty dreams*

Random scrub: I love you

Sakura: holy hell you're not Sasuke ew

Random scrub: have my babies

Sakura: kthnxbai

Kakashi: go, follow your dreams

Sakura: Omg ok

Kakashi: you gonna bang hohoho /wise guru


	12. Chapter 12

...

* * *

During the following hours Sasuke questioned his decision repeatedly. Had he done the right thing? Kakashi's words of reassurance and encouragement floated to his mind and battled there with his own persistent self-doubt. Once upon a time he had been so sure of himself, so convinced that his way was the right way and that all his actions were just and necessary: it had been so when he had left the village to follow Orochimaru; when he had slain his innocent brother in ignorance only to have the truth about Itachi revealed to him later; when he had joined the Akatsuki and made himself a criminal and enemy to the shinobi villages, inadvertently aiding Madara in renewing the Ten-Tails; and when he'd made the choice to execute the kage and tailed beasts in order to revolutionize the ninja world. He'd made up his mind concerning all of the above with swift decisiveness. The world was black and white, he believed—a series of binary oppositions—and he choice to dwell in the black. Yet he was proven wrong time and time again; his actions were governed by hatred and grief and it wasn't until he'd had his arm blown off by his best friend that he'd been forced to pause and reconsider: was this the only way?

An arm was the least of the things he had lost in consequence, and there had been the potential to lose so much more. He had nearly lost everything: the last of his human decency, the only people who still cared for him despite all he had done, and finally his very own _life._ Now he was more cautious—too cautious—to the point where he could be paralysed by even the smallest of choices put before him. He had conditioned himself to believe that if his heart desired a certain outcome, disaster could only follow.

So much could go wrong.

Yet, _so much could go right,_ a tiny, hopeful voice in the back of his mind insisted. His heart leaped and sputtered at the thought that when he left the village that he would no longer be so painfully isolated; that in those quiet moments when there was nothing to distract him but the thoughts of his many regrets, she would be there to brighten his life with her smile; that there would be someone for him to share meals with and sit next to by the glowing, dying embers of a fire while a glorious cosmos twinkled overhead.

 _And when the nights were cold and lonely, she would be lying next to him, and if he just reached out she would..._

He shook his head. _No._ That was not what this was about. He felt guilty for the thought, as he always felt guilty whenever he pictured her sweaty and naked and on her back underneath him, her emerald eyes glowing dimly in the moonlight as he discovered what it felt like to be inside of her. He was selfish, a taker—and she would give and give and give until there was nothing left of her. That was what he feared most: that she would gladly let him break her apart one piece at a time just to satisfy his own wants; that he was toxic, a poison, and for some reason she either didn't realize or didn't care. Yet the temptation was so present. Would it really be so terrible if he just succumbed a little?

Sasuke didn't want to hurt her, but it seemed he didn't know how _not_ to hurt her. _That look,_ the way she had looked so completely crestfallen when he had refused to stay in Konoha—he wanted to believe that it was a good thing to bring her along, if it would only put a smile on her face for the briefest moment, but he wasn't convinced he wouldn't be making things worse. She would be sad if he left but he risked causing her greater pain if she came with him, because he was not fit to be loved the way she loved him. He was a black hole, leaving only devastation in his wake.

He wasn't sure what had brought him back to Sakura's apartment after he'd concluded his meeting with Kakashi and shopped for supplies for the trip (sending the bill, of course, to the Hokage's office.) Maybe it was because he had no place else to go, although he was positive that Naruto would have welcomed him gladly into his home for a short while, but Sasuke had no wish to intrude upon the young couple's happiness any more than he had already; they deserved some time alone to celebrate their news. Neither did he have any desire to go back to the empty Uchiha complex, which he felt really ought to be torn down—and perhaps someday rebuilt. Too many ghosts waited for him there. Spending a day wandering around the village in public did not appeal to him either, as he could feel distrustful eyes and hear whispers following him wherever he went. ( _"That's him. Uchiha Sasuke. The criminal who was pardoned after the war..."_ )

But the real reason that he found himself inside of her apartment, after picking the lock on her door and letting himself inside (she really ought to do something about security—if he could easily break into her apartment, so could others) was because he simply wanted to see her. She wasn't there, of course; she would be at the hospital. He could have gone to see her but instead he decided to wait, feeling absurdly nervous as he sat on her couch and twiddled his thumbs idly. He was anxious to know how she felt about travelling with him. Perhaps it would have been better to run the idea by her first before asking Kakashi, or talk to her immediately afterwards, but somehow he found himself frozen at the prospect of doing so. Communicating was _so_ not his forte, and it became even more difficult when it was about something important, and nearly impossible when it was concerning his feelings.

Sasuke needed a distraction. If he allowed himself to think about it any more he'd risk changing his mind. But there was little for him to do inside of Sakura's apartment that didn't involve invading her privacy, and so he reluctantly reached inside of his cloak for the book that Kakashi had given him.

He wasn't curious, really. He was just bored. He thumbed open to a random page and peeked down at the words.

 _'"Oh yes!" she cried, her head thrown back and heels digging into his back as he pounded into her in long, hard strokes. Her rosy breasts bounced with every vigorous thrust."Oh, yes, harder!"_

" _You feel so amazing." he murmured hotly in her ear, his hands slipping down to cup her pert as firmly so he could angle more deeply inside of her. It felt like his cock was wrapped in molten velvet, so exquisitely hot and tight-"'_

Sasuke swallowed and snapped the book shut firmly, his cheeks flaring red. He'd known this was the type of thing that Kakashi liked to read but he didn't know that it was quite ... so ...

It was his first time encountering content of this nature. He knew that it was out there: books and magazines and films, but he had avoided such needless distractions with the resolute belief that he was above such banal behaviour. That, of course, did not stop him from wondering on occasion or from reaching the discovery that he was a sexual being with physical desires—those of which he had dealt with up till now alone and in private. He found his own imagination could supply him well enough, though it be lacking in creativity or any real know-how. All he needed to do was picture _her_ without any clothes on (never mind that he had never seen a real-life naked woman up close before) and whimpering his name, and he could bring himself easily, albeit guiltily, to release.

It was always her. The thought of anyone else, or worse—some nameless, faceless creature—failed to truly arouse him, though Sasuke never pondered too closely why. There were many things of which Sakura was the only: the only person he could feel completely at ease with, the only woman he admired both for her beauty and her strength, the only one he prayed he never hurt... He could not say why, but she just _was._

After a pause, he cautiously cracked the book open once more. This time he landed on a different scene and scanned the lines with much more trepidation, unable to deny any longer even to himself that _yes,_ perhaps he was the tiniest bit curious and he was looking for strictly educational purposes only. Just for reference. Not that he needed reference because he most definitely did not intend to—

 _'His tongue worked around her clit in quick, masterful circles, driving her steadily past the point of sanity. Her fingers slid into his hair and gripped with white-knuckled fists. He grunted, his hands digging into thighs to hold her steady as she squirmed restlessly underneath the firm pressure of his fingertips. He lapped at her fervently, his tongue sliding along the slick, wet folds of her sex._

" _Ahn!" she cried, her hips bucking wildly. "More! Don't stop! I'm going to—I'm going to come!"'_

Sasuke's eyebrows drew together as he considered the material in a purely ... scholarly manner. Or so he tried to convince himself, but he could not help but imagine himself performing such an act on Sakura. The idea was both nerve-wracking and titillating. Would it please her? He swallowed again, wet his dry lips, and slowly turned the page.

Nearly an hour later, he was so absorbed in the book that he didn't hear Sakura opening the door until it was almost too late. He glanced towards the turning doorknob and hastily shoved the dirty book inside of his cloak, looking up innocently as she entered her apartment.

She was surprised to see him, naturally, as the door had been locked and he had broken in.

"Sasuke-kun!" she gasped. "What are you doing here? You—I mean, I—"

Words seemed to fail her and they regarded each other in silence for a moment. Snapping her mouth closed, she scurried over to the couch and sat beside him, close enough that their thighs were almost touching. Remembering what he had read just moments earlier (which had taken place on a couch) he fidgeted, and tried to push away his errant, amorous thoughts.

"So," she finally began.

He peered at her sideways. "...Yes?"

"I'm ... coming ... with you?"

She said it like it was a question, her pink hair sliding over her shoulder as she turned to look at him expectantly.

"Yes." he replied after a brief pause. His gaze softened, and added: "If you want to."

"I do!" she answered so quickly and so firmly that it startled him, his brows raised incrementally at the sudden outburst. "I do! Of course I do! But ... is that what you want?"

 _More than anything._ He swallowed for a third time, and then wordlessly, almost shyly, nodded his head.

Then something magic happened: she looked at him and her eyes were full of stars; she glowed so radiantly it was nearly blinding, and the smile that curled her pink lips, showing perfectly even white teeth, was the most profoundly beautiful thing he'd ever seen. Something stirred inside of him—something much more, much greater and deeper and harder to put to words than simply _lust_ or _fondness—s_ omething big, wholly consuming, and utterly terrifying. His heart stopped and restarted.

He hung on that smile; the most perfect, pure sight his eyes had witnessed, almost enough to erase the images of blood and corpses seared into his tender memory. He wondered what he had to do to recreate that smile over and over again for in that moment he was convinced that there was _nothing_ more precious in the world.

"I want you to come with me." he iterated; a feat that took surprising effort.

"Okay." she said, the single word carried on an almost reverent, breathless whisper. "Yes. _Anywhere_. Always."

He wondered what he had done to inspire such unfailing loyalty. He wondered what he would have to do to finally deserve it—to deserve _her._

"Sakura," he warned her, "it might not be perfect or easy or pleasant. I'm not exactly ... the best-" he paused, _the best what? Man_ —the answer came unbidden from the far reaches of his mind. He was not the best man for her—nor sweetheart nor lover nor anything at all. "...travelling companion." he finished lamely. "I don't know that I can ever be the kind of ... travelling companion that you might want me to be."

"But Sasuke-kun," she said, and she reached out, and her hand found his. Her fingertips grazed gently over the back of his knuckles. "you are already exactly the ... travelling companion that I want. The only one I've ever wanted."

But why? But _how,_ he wanted to ask? What good was there in him that she saw? His throat felt unusually tight and that same, overwhelmingly intense feeling constricted around his heart. He wanted to demand what exactly it was she could still want about him as a ... _travelling companion_ after all that he had put her through, _after he had almost killed her_ , but the words didn't come. His sketicism and self-doubt was softened by the genuineness he saw in her emerald eyes.

So instead he said nothing, and turned his palm up so it touched hers, and he laced their fingers together. Her hand was soft and warm and felt so right in his.

"Thank you." he told her quietly, and in response she leaned her head against his shoulder. He felt her breathe out, relaxing into him. It was strange: that this type of contact was so long foreign to him that it was all but forgotten, and yet with Sakura it didn't feel strange or uncomfortable. With Sakura, it felt like ...

Home. Exactly like home.

* * *

TL;DR version:

Sasuke: -havin' some angst alone in Sakura's apartment like a creeper-

Sasuke: -reads dirty book alone in Sakura's apartment like a creeper, for s _trictly educational purposes_ -

Sakura: "Ummm woah what are you doing here"

Sasuke: "TOTALLY NOT READING PORNO WHAT WHY WOULD YOU ASK"

Sakura: "Um so roadtrip huh?"

Sasuke: "Yup"

Sakura: -BLAZES WITH THE RADIANT GLEE OF 1000 SUNS-

Sasuke: _what is this feeling in my chestal heart-like area_

 _(Ya love her dummy)_

* * *

I don't know why it took me so long to write this one. Usually I crank out one of these chappies in a day because they're intentionally short but I've just had some writers block maybe, so it was broken up over like, 5 days. So sorry if there's any errors or it reads weirdly. Urms reviews plz? I do love them reviews.


	13. Chapter 13

It started slowly at first: he'd stand a little closer to her when they were walking side by side, and on occasion his hand would brush hers but he wouldn't pull away; when they were climbing up over rocky slopes or through thick brush, he'd put a steadying hand gently on the small of her back; with every passing night he laid out his sleeping roll a little nearer to hers (the comical gap between them that first night! As though he thought she'd try to jump him in his sleep). Slowly but surely, Sasuke seemed to be growing a little more comfortable in her presence. It reminded her of their old genin days together, those moments she'd live for when he'd sit next to her during lunch on simple missions and sometimes their knees would touch, and it would send her heart racing in all her innocent, girlish infatuation. That infatuation had developed into love, and her awareness of him had developed into something less innocent and more intensely physical.

But she did not hope for anything and nor did she push him for anything more than he was willing to give. Their relationship didn't need to be defined in words; was much too complex to be described by something so simple and superficial as words. They were friends, she knew—teammates—but not lovers, not yet, and perhaps not ever. He had said as much to her the night that he had asked her to come with him on his journey. And that was fine with Sakura. She had been content to love him onesidedly for the better part of her life, never demanding that her feelings be reciprocated, and that had not changed. She was happy just to be at his side, where she felt so completely and totally at home.

They were travelling north in pursuit of traces of Kaguya's chakra. The tracking process was slow-going and they journeyed slowly, taking frequent stops. She didn't understand the particulars, only that Sasuke searched using his Rinnegan and where he went, she naturally followed. She was there to be his medic, after all. They'd had a few run-ins with independent rebel groups from the villages, those who held grudges still, even after the war, and aimed to harm the newly found peace. Such confrontations were usually dealt with swiftly and cleanly. Sasuke was so strong, even with only one arm, and she fought as his companion and equal at his side.

No more did she cower behind his back, looking to be rescued. No longer did Sasuke push her to the side, seeing her as weak and in need of his protection. That little confidence he showed in her was the highest praise she could have asked for. She would not be a burden to him on this journey, no. She would not let him regret his decision to bring her.

Although the past two weeks since they'd left the village had proved to be largely uneventful (exempting a few ambushes from poorly organized insurgence groups) Sakura was never bored. She filled the silence with her chatter, delighted whenever Sasuke, terse as always, would quietly respond to her questions and conversations. Once, as a girl, she'd erroneously imagined herself to be the leading expert on all things Sasuke-related; she'd prided herself on learning his favourite foods, books, and movies; his birthday and horoscope sign; at which ninja arts he excelled, and so on. Meaningless statistics. She'd known nothing of the suffering going on underneath his cool exterior. Now she was determined to learn him anew—to truly know him, and understand him, so she could love him all the better.

* * *

That night started the same as most nights before it since they'd begun journeying together: she'd prepared a simple dinner while he'd built up the fire for the night, and they'd laid out their sleeping rolls (this time with less than a foot between them!) The sky was clear and velvet black, stars winking prettily overhead, a waxing moon—nearly full—visible over the leafy treetops, its silvery light filtering through the branches.

They'd gone to bed, and several hours later, past midnight, Sakura awoke to the sound of a scream. It might have startled her if she had not grown accustomed to this near-nightly occurrence. She sat up groggily, brushing overgrown strands of pink hair away from her face, and reached for the lantern she kept next to her bed roll to light it.

"Sasuke-kun." she said his name soothingly, shuffling over to close the distance in between them. He had pitched upright, shaking, his dark eyes wide and tormented in the dim lighting, his face ghostly white. "Sasuke-kun, it was just a dream."

"I'm sorry," he muttered under his breath, seemingly not fully awake or aware of himself just yet. "I'm so sorry."

"There's nothing to be sorry for." she replied, reaching for him. Her fingers went automatically for his silky hair and she pulled his head gently to her chest, where she stroked his head and hummed softly until the trembling had subsided and his breathing had slowed to a normal pace. Even then he didn't pull away from her, but as the tension went out of his body he seemed to _melt_ against her, resting his weight entirely against her small frame. She held him securely, feeling the beat of his heart slowly turn steady against her breast until it began to beat in sync with hers. Normally she would have gone into the tizzy at the mere thought of such close contact with him—the way he allowed her to hold him and touch his hair like this, his pretty hair which was black and smooth and glossy as obsidian. Now it seemed wrong of her to enjoy it overmuch. She hated to see him like this—she didn't know what he saw in his nightmares, only knew that the flashbacks were terrible and left him emotionally raw and quaking like a leaf. She wished to the very core of her being that she could fight his demons for him—but how could she battle that which she couldn't see?

One hand slid lower, down his neck and along his back, her fingertips pulsing with green light as she expertly located the knots of tension twisted into the hard muscles of his back by nightmare-induced spasms and released them one after another. He moaned almost inaudibly, but said nothing, allowing her to comfort him the best she knew how. One day he might choose to talk to her about it, those horrors he saw replayed endlessly, but for now this was all she could do for him.

His breathing slowed and deepened. Eventually she realized that he had fallen right back asleep like that, curled up in her arms and with his head against her chest. Now she took the opportunity to blush, flushing red from her neck to the roots of her hair. He looked so peaceful when he was sleeping, his handsome features totally relaxed—so vulnerable, almost child-like. Sakura swallowed hard.

 _What now_?

* * *

TL;DR version:

-SS travelling-

-Travelling intensifies-

Sasuke-kun: -ptsd-

Sakura: "Awww lemme make it better"

Sasuke-kun: "snoooore"

Sakura: "OMG SCORE"

* * *

Sorry for the late update. I took a course at a University in Spain. And, y'know, Spain.


End file.
